Projections of The Ideal Female

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Myths of America

Projections of The Ideal Female

The First Time I Felt Like I Had to "Suck it In"

I often reflect on my early youth, and the emotions as well as thoughts I had felt before ever even remotely understanding them. I can't remember when I realized I was so different. Or maybe I had just decided I was different. It's hard to tell. I remember in first grade, kneeling in the church pew during Friday mass, thinking I should suck in my stomach to be as skinny as the other girls. Who had told me I was fat? Who planted this idea in my head? I was 6 years old and worried about my appearance. I remember feeling this emptiness in my chest, not understanding yet that it was loneliness - feeling ostracized by my own thoughts. In so much media today, women are shown the "ideal female body type" without much thought to the repercussions this may have on their youth. I can't remember absorbing any amount of media content except for that of Spongebob Squarepants and Disney Channel originals. I can't imagine my mental health deteriorating due to these cartoons and children's television. A more likely answer would be the trickle down effect of the toxic female ideation onto my mother and then onto me and my older sister. Was my mother's weight insecurity, though seemingly unapparent, enough to plant the seed of insecurity into my own head? As I reflect further, I recall moments of feeling disdain and loathing for the body that carried me during the day. The body that allowed me to excel at sports. The body that loved me even though I was told to change it.

Throughout my poster I will share anecdotes from my life, the struggles I faced as someone with a "non-traditionally" beautiful body, and my reflections on how the media was an influencer of these issues.

"They're Going to Call You a Boy"

When I was eight years old I wanted to cut my hair and to wear it short like my dad and my brother. I didn't like my shoulder-length hair and the way it would get in my face during sports or while playing outside. As soon as I came up with the idea to get it cut, I couldn't think of anything else. I knew it was what I wanted more than anything. My mother was entirely against it, and maybe that was why I so desperately wanted it more. I had never considered myself to be a rebellious child, but when I was determined to do something there was no way you could talk me out of it. My mother told me about how she used to have very short, pixie styled hair when she was in college and how she was teased relentlessly because of it. She didn't want me to face the same judgments when I was only eight. "They're going to call you a boy...how will they know you're a girl? You look so beautiful with long hair" she would say in an attempt to dissuade me.

It's common in our culture as Americans to impose beauty standards on women such as maintaining beautiful, long hair that is healthy and naturally colored, but never gray. In the media we see this through ads for fashion marketing and modeling. Occasionally, there are models with shaved heads, and more often than not there is some shock from the viewers in response. Commenters will pick on their appearance saying it's "wrong" or "un-womanly" to have a hairless head. So much of a woman's perceived beauty is held in her hair, and its not uncommon for the women around me to shed tears at the thought of cutting any more than two inches off.

My mother feared for me because of the negative comments she faced when she cut her hair off. She wanted to protect me from the bullying and side-eyes that would ensue from my peers and even adults come to find. I resented her at the time for trying to stop me from doing what I wanted, but later I realized how her comments came out of a place to love - she was sharing the brutal truth with me. I still cut my hair, and when I was older I became more aware of the comments from my peers calling me a lesbian, "dyke", and a boy. It hurt to be mislabeled and to have things assumed about me in an attempt to hurt me for being different. I never stopped cutting my hair and in fact I changed the style and the length constantly because it never mattered to me what they thought - only whether or not I felt comfortable in my skin. I wasn't going to let beauty standards set by anyone other than myself influence my appearance. Our beauty cannot be contained within one element of our appearance alone, and the media's perception of true beauty is toxically influencing everyone around us.

It's My Body, and I'll Lift if I Want to

For centuries, the ideal female body type has been portrayed as petite, slim, and elegant in a way that reminds you of a dancer. If you look back in time you see that women's body's become "trendy" and the "style" of their hips, breasts, legs, and arms become idolized by the media. For example, in the '20s women were seen as exceptionally beautiful if they had small breasts and little to no curve to their waists. Today, women are idolized for having strong curves, a fuller figure, and larger breasts. The idea that a certain body type can go "out of style" is absurd and unrealistic considering every body type is incredibly different. Body types and frames range depending on ethnicity, heritage, body composition, life style, and many other factors that cannot easily be controlled.

Being involved in sports all my life has developed in me a passion for fitness and wellness. In the fifth grade I discovered my talent for throwing shot-put. I started building muscle from practicing and I loved the feeling of being physically strong. I dominated in the throwing competitions and I eagerly awaited high school track and field. Once I was older and in high school, I was able to specialize in throwing shot-put and discus, and to begin strengthening my body with weights. My drive and passion grew exponentially and not soon after I was exposed to CrossFit. My desire to lift heavy weights and become stronger was fed in the CrossFit environment, and my throwing abilities benefited from the exercise. As my body became stronger it also began to look different. I was never slim in the shoulders. I had never had the pleasure of a thigh gap. I had the body of an accomplished athlete and that was not the ideal. After lifting weights more seriously, my muscles became defined and many people labeled me as the "tough girl." While this has no real negative connotation, there were backhanded compliments that often followed and accused me of being too masculine for my own good, saying I wouldn't be attractive if I kept building my muscles. Becoming strong and working out had given me so much confidence in my body and to have that confidence be struck down once again was heartbreaking. I didn't want to be known as the "masculine" girl, but instead as someone with such drive and passion for their sports.

Women in sports are often criticized for being "masculine" or too muscular, but in order to be an accomplished athlete at any level, you need to have a developed and athletic body composition. In many cases, the media has tried to control women in sports in terms of their perceived lack of femininity. For example, Serena Williams - a renowned professional tennis player - was critiqued for grunting when she stuck the ball
and was told it was excessive and unnecessary. Many male tennis athletes behave the same way, and the release of air when striking the ball allows them to be more powerful. In addition to this, grunting in many sports is incredibly common and is used as a release of force from one's chest. The athletic female body cannot be held to the media's already unrealistic standard of feminine beauty, and for that matter it should be respected for its capability instead of critiqued for its aesthetic.

"Aren't You a Little Small for a Thrower? No Offense..."

For a good portion of my life I have felt like the odd one out when it comes to the appearance of my body. I've always felt larger than I've been told I am. I've always felt like I take up too much space than I ought to. When I was in high school I started seeing a therapist to cope with a bad relationship, as a result I learned a lot about myself and began to truly understand my brain for the first time. She diagnosed me with body dysmorphia which is a mental illness that is loosely defined as an obsessive focus on a perceived flaw in appearance. For many individuals this includes habits such as skin picking, body checking, and the inability to clearly picture themselves in their minds eye due to such a warped belief about their body. As years have passed I have become more aware of these habits and beliefs of mine, and more importantly I've come to see how damaging them can be for my relationships with friends and family. Nobody wants to see their loved ones suffer in their own heads, and for them I work to be kinder to my body and mind.

In society, so many of us have been shown the "ideal" body type for either sex, but the truth is that the standard is largely unachievable. No matter what you do to "improve" your body to reach that goal, someone will have something negative to say about it. Your body deserves love and care, and some people will try to convince you otherwise. Your body is individually yours and there's beauty in all of us that you need to open your eyes to.

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