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• 1 2020-11-03T14:08:58+00:00 Being The Only Asian. 13 Elizabeth Kim plain 2020-11-18T08:51:55+00:00

  
  Growing up 
  
  When I was growing up I never felt like I belonged. I went to a public school all through my life. I never saw anyone with the same characteristics as me. I felt like I was the outcast for a lot of my childhood memories. No one had the same eyes as me. Everyone else was taller than me. I would compare myself a lot to the other girls that looked totally different. I would say I was never truly happy in school. I thought the school system is not fair for the lack of diversity and inclusion. I was always bullied and compared to the other kids. I developed a rapid cycle in my mind overthinking and causing me to break. I felt like I did not matter. I felt a lot of emotions in going to middle school. 
  
  
  Parents 
  
  I had a hard time with English and understanding it quickly. Korean is my first language and I grew up with a lot of Korean cultures. I was always stereotyped to be the perfect Asian kid. I wasn't the smartest and had a lot of a hard time in the classrooms. I couldn't concentrate because of thinking what the other kids thought of me. This built up to bigger issues over time. I didn't have any friends which built up more mental hardships. For me school was very hard for me I was in ESL during middle school. Even my own parents were upset with me how I wasn't in the normal classes. I didn't perform well academically. Not receiving that perfect (A) grade made living harder with Asian Parents. My parents filled up more anxiety from their high expectations of me. In a classroom setting, I felt not normal by the treatment of the teachers. I was treated differently from the white students in the class. I would get made fun of when I brought Korean food to lunch because I didn't enjoy American food as much. I got hurt when people would move away from me or just not wanting to be around me because of not being like the rest of them. 

   

  High School 

  Going into high school I still felt different. I  knew I had a lot in me and great strength from my past. I did something I never thought I could do. That was to ask for help. I wanted to improve myself, especially for my mental health. I didn't get any support from my family for getting treated for my Anxiety or Depression. I knew for a long time that I was dealing with these two disorders but couldn't seek any support. It wasn't until I expressed my emotions to my school counselor. In my Sophomore year of high school, I played tennis. I saw how everything disappeared when I was on the courts. I wanted to keep feeling free. I felt the happiest when I played tennis. I focused and eventually made to be first singles on the varsity spot. I learned to be my own advocate. Gradually understanding how people's thoughts of me aren't important and how I should focus on myself. I truly became myself and valued my uniqueness. I remember a phrase my dad told me when I was younger, he said, " You're cultured like no other with knowledge". I learned how this is to my advantage. My experiences I've gained in my life being a Korean- American has given me a greater lesson. It is to appreciate myself and the opportunities I had along the way. My worries about asking for help wasn't a worry anymore. I understood how asking for help is the best thing to do for yourself. My parents later realized the push they gave me was really negative for my mental health. The path they had in mind for me to take wasn't my plan for myself. I didn’t want to be the stereotypical doctor in an Asian family. 
   

  My future

  I learned to be myself and to follow my heart. I began searching for something that made me happy. I found great passion in my Entrepreneurship class my Junior year. I realized how I want to pursue business and law. I became my own advocate and best friend during my dark times. The struggles I've faced only made me the strongest person I know that will make me unstoppable for my future. 
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